Taoism: Shit happens!
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens!"
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough!
Buddhism: If shit happens, it really isn't shit!.
Seventh Day Adventist: No shit on Saturdays...
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening!.
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Mormonism: This shit is going to happen again.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Protestantism: Let the shit happen to someone else.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you are bad.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens — rama rama.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Jehovah's Witness: Invite me into your home, and I'll tell you why shit happens!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.
Christian Science: Shit is in your mind.
Existentialism: What is shit anyway?
Atheism: No shit!
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!